Anonymous asked: What are your parents feelings towards you sharing an intimate relationship with their friend, Karl?

ever since i was born, i affectionately referred to mr lagerfeld as uncle karl. i wore his famous sunglasses, laughed about celebrities and their “collections”, burnt vintage yves saint laurent haute couture in his fine porcelain italian tiled bathroom and used his “tatty” birkin handbag as a non-waterproof disposable bin container. at age 2, he loved me ever since i repetitively vomited whenever he spoke of versace. at age 6, he was infatuated over my eloquent ability of choosing between which lace worked best with which garment. at age 10, he loved me for pretending to like whenever he gets his hand on demin and at age 14, he loved me for my rather spacious mouth, in which for various chanel merchandise, he liked to use very much. my mother and father never questioned my relationship with karl. it was normal for me to go to paris every summer for the various vogue photoshoots and of course, to visit my grand old uncle karl. nor did they see anything strange when they saw how many new clothes i had received. luckily, they rightly mistook the new chanel clothing for old tweet pieces from charity shops and dead grandmothers.

if i was still with him, one year on from the heartbreak… the devastation and cruelty that occurred on that fateful parisian night, i might of told them the true relationship. alas, it was not to be. karl could not handle the possible harm it would due to his career, especially since the fiasco dearest galliano got in, he wished not to be with me anymore. i was sacrificed for his career though once in a blue moon, in my hand-sequined chanel couture pyjamas, i received a message from my old fellow. i cannot reply though, it’s just hurts too much. i look on my diamond incrusted iPhone now, skimming through the texts, these are the last from karl:

Karl: bonjour sxc ;)))

Karl: i miss u :((xxx

Karl: y r u nt replin??

Karl: wtf

Karl: reply to me cnt

Me: But I cannot.. It hurts my heart, my head, my body. I loved you and you threw it away.

Karl: sext me or ill keep usin dat hag stella tennant

and that both solves the mystery of why my family never ask, why i incessantly reblog depressing quotes and of course, why stella tennant still has a career. i am in a much better place now, guest-juding on america’s next top model and parting it up tisci style. maybe one day, karl will realise what mistake he made, losing me, losing everything he longed for. i was not just a lover, i was his boy, his chanel twink, his everything… he is my nothing, now.

Anonymous asked: I feel Karl is obsessed with Choupette because you're not longer by his side, like, that's his way of coping

i know right? it’s getting beyond ridiculous and i just cannot deal with this blatant attempt of trying to fill his empty heart with a replacement like that. i know there is the obvious similarities; blue eyes and fair hair, cute and with tendencies to meow and purr but his obvious imitation of me is nothing but insulting. shower it with ipads, carry it in your vintage quilted-leather chanel handbag and drown it with affection but, mr lagerfeld, it will never be me. have you seen how many pictures choupette posts of itself? nothing but an attention-seeking camera whore. look at this photo for christ’s sake which it posted on bloody facebook, it’s in the bathroom and it’s naked. have you seen anything more that screams slut like that incriminating picture? karl’s new love obsession disgraces the house of the chanel and coco would be ashamed. i hope karl will finally realise that i am truly irreplaceable and that nothing can fill the gap that i created. when he does realise, we will all be saying bye to that slut, and i will make sure to return it to where it belongs.

Anonymous asked: what did you think of dior?

with galliano it was all about frivolous extravagance and the most beautiful details that we all have developed such sensibility to thinking all haute couture shows have to be like that. indeed, my favourite haute couture shows contain dresses and gowns that are so beautifully made and embellishments that only skilled craftsmanship can capture.  

as for this collection it was, in my opinion, it was okay but rather lackluster. if i was raf myself i too would of returned to the original aesthetic of the house and backed the collection on what made the house of dior so famous. designers that come to houses are always going to change things and will always pick up, retain and lose certain aspects of the house and the original taste of its founder. with galliano, he emphasized the sheer detail and fantasy that dior captured in dresses and certainly made them his own. for anyone to say that galliano was not imitating christian dior then that is completely false. galliano was always big into theatrical and fascinating gowns, not just at dior thus why it was such a spectacular. and feature in most of his shows. it’s no surprise that simons has retained his minimalistic approach, with the dior aesthetics and those he showed at jil sander. when we break down the fantastic shows that galliano did for dior that matched the gowns he created, the dior element was always there, likewise with simon’s first show. though i desired much more from him, and i believe he is completely capable, it coincided with the original look of the house.

honestly, i think it’s completely appropriate to go back to the look that christian dior first started with, both sensible and a lovely tribute to the designer. the fluency of detail and wonder may be lost for now but the defining siholettes are still present. the return of the new look to its assured former glory. the show was a good start, mediocre for the frivolous standards of what most see of couture but still very dior. i am sure as he grows into couture, he will be more and more showstopping. with probably the best team to create whatever at his whim, it’s only time until his creativity will hopefully explode. 

Anonymous asked: obviously you love chanel, but you seem to post a lot of john galliano for christian dior also. i was just wondering what your opinion is on galliano and the future of dior? do you think he should have been fired ect? was he overrated?

my opinion on john galliano as a designer is very mixed but that goes for all the designers i post and talk about. there will always be elements of designers that i like and areas that i do not like but just his variety of capturing different styles alone really shows that he was great designer. though somewhat outlandish and at time gowns that were not always to my taste, i do completely think that he was a very good designer. when seeing videos of him describing his collections and the reasoning behind his garments, you can completely hate the dress itself but admire it differently through the explanation that you never even depicted. his work can be carelessly controversial, insulting and juxtaposing the whole ideals of haute couture, as well as ridiculously refined and beautifully embellished, sticking with the original aesthetic of the house of dior.

do i believe dior was justified to fire galliano? i don’t. john galliano continued in the ethics of dior, creating the most beautiful dresses in paris and even with his own approach to everything, still turned over billions of dollars a year to the company. anti-semitic comment are never appropriate and what he said was extremely rude and understandably insulting. it was much more than a mistake as well as an embarrassment i am sure to galliano personally, one that we well regret competely. the house of dior should not of abandoned their own iconic designer in order to avoid complications that may had of been resolved much easily. to abandon a designer so easily is quite worrying as they simply used and dismissed at their own whim, disregarding anything to the designer personally and using him only for recognition and money. in my opinion they should of kept onto him and supported him as he did the house. ironically by firing him, they only created more sensation to the story and created a bigger mess of everything at detriment to themselves.

i am very much looking forward to seeing what raf simons will do for dior and i am hoping that he will replace the infamous flamboyance with femininity closer to the original designer’s view of beauty and taste. the house makes so much money that i am certain that dior will be forcefully placed in safe hands and i guess we all now know what will happen if someone does not.

if you want to learn more about him this is a wonderful documentary

Anonymous asked: do you had a romantic relationship with Karl Lagerfeld? Have you ever kissed, sleep together, and done other "things" with him?

though normally i have been silenced in this subject, i feel it’s time to speak out. as a young and vulnerable boy lost in paris, i had no where else to turn to. obviously with my chic fashion taste and my radiating innocence, lagerfeld was an obvious choice. as a chanel intern, it was my job and duty to clean the windows that line 31 rue cambon but karl had other things in mind… romance and passion. as an impressionable 12 year old at the time, what was one to do? i had not learnt the french for “No please it hurts” and karl had banned the use of dictionaries for twenty years prior because of their refusal to adding chanel as an adjective meaning beauty and elegance. so the kissing and other “things” continued well into my ripe old age of 15. i was immortalized in karl’s heart, wearing chanel haute couture as pyjamas and bathing in various chanel fragrances. alas, all romances have to end and i left karl for personal reasons. ever since chanel has been critiqued as terrible and ugly and many believe it’s due to my absence. the kitten karl has recently cherished looks extremely similar to me, naming it choupette, an obvious imitation regarding my name as my name also has an E in it too, allowing no imagination for the obvious similarities in the kitten of his choice. one day i might return to him, one day i might feel love again…….

Anonymous asked: chanel used to be so wonderful, karl is not creating wonderful collections as before

in my opinion, chanel has always been very hit and miss. karl lagerfeld is constantly balancing commercialization of the chanel brand with his own designs and creativity. there is a lot of pressure to stay within the iconic “chanel” look but obviously there is an urge to recreate and reinvent after every collection and there is a limited amount of substance. even the haute couture line stays in some boundaries because need for it to sell to their dedicated clients. in the past chanel has been the only brand that has actively stated that it creates a profit from the haute couture line and i expect that even though spring/summer 2012 was terrible a lot of it will be sold because indeed, it’s chanel and because of the classic “chanel” silhouettes that their clients love.

increasingly, it’s hard to understand the vision of designers under the houses of which their name doesn’t appear. fashion is a business after all and you cannot go wrong with pieces worth up to $100,000. although, i do agree fully that his collections are declining in wonder and beauty. like ready-to-wear, haute couture must evolve and with new designers and this is exactly what has happened to the house of valentino. before valentino himself retired, the lines were looking very dated until maria grazia chiuri and pier paolo piccioli, respectively, became the new creative directors. valentino’s couture sales alone have risen an incredible 80% in a year alone. the haute couture clients are becoming younger and the lines are becoming increasingly more profitable and chanel is not evolving with the change.

even with these amazing sale figures, people complain on the repetitiveness of collections. designers are not machines and there is pressure with the expense of couture to do it properly. honestly, i cannot blame designers to repeat similar designs when they know they’ll be well bought. chanel is a business, and i think if we critque karl on his designing abilities, it should be karl lagerfeld for chanel and not solely himself; he is designing for a fashion house. with karl, when he gets it right, it’s amazingly beautiful and we should focus on his good collections, rather than the bad. he is a global influence with fashion and though i believe he should retire, i admire his designing skill. 

Anonymous asked: I'd live with you too, you seem interesting.

karl is strangely weird about guests. one time i had my friend gemma ward over in the apartment. as you may of heard, gemma was going through some weight problems at the time and it didn’t help when karl came in from a hard day of work to find gemma eating his preciously made chocolate eclairs. when gemma found the box of the twenty-four vulnerable, lonely and afraid chocolate eclairs, there was no hope. i tried my best to tell her no, to think about her modeling career. by the time karl came in, i was already in tears. they say gemma ward left modeling by her own, personal choice, but i assure you, it didn’t happen like that. “a chocolate eclair for a career.” - karl lagerfeld