Anonymous asked: What are your parents feelings towards you sharing an intimate relationship with their friend, Karl?
ever since i was born, i affectionately referred to mr lagerfeld as uncle karl. i wore his famous sunglasses, laughed about celebrities and their “collections”, burnt vintage yves saint laurent haute couture in his fine porcelain italian tiled bathroom and used his “tatty” birkin handbag as a non-waterproof disposable bin container. at age 2, he loved me ever since i repetitively vomited whenever he spoke of versace. at age 6, he was infatuated over my eloquent ability of choosing between which lace worked best with which garment. at age 10, he loved me for pretending to like whenever he gets his hand on demin and at age 14, he loved me for my rather spacious mouth, in which for various chanel merchandise, he liked to use very much. my mother and father never questioned my relationship with karl. it was normal for me to go to paris every summer for the various vogue photoshoots and of course, to visit my grand old uncle karl. nor did they see anything strange when they saw how many new clothes i had received. luckily, they rightly mistook the new chanel clothing for old tweet pieces from charity shops and dead grandmothers.
if i was still with him, one year on from the heartbreak… the devastation and cruelty that occurred on that fateful parisian night, i might of told them the true relationship. alas, it was not to be. karl could not handle the possible harm it would due to his career, especially since the fiasco dearest galliano got in, he wished not to be with me anymore. i was sacrificed for his career though once in a blue moon, in my hand-sequined chanel couture pyjamas, i received a message from my old fellow. i cannot reply though, it’s just hurts too much. i look on my diamond incrusted iPhone now, skimming through the texts, these are the last from karl:
Karl: bonjour sxc ;)))
Karl: i miss u :((xxx
Karl: y r u nt replin??
Karl: reply to me cnt
Me: But I cannot.. It hurts my heart, my head, my body. I loved you and you threw it away.
Karl: sext me or ill keep usin dat hag stella tennant
and that both solves the mystery of why my family never ask, why i incessantly reblog depressing quotes and of course, why stella tennant still has a career. i am in a much better place now, guest-juding on america’s next top model and parting it up tisci style. maybe one day, karl will realise what mistake he made, losing me, losing everything he longed for. i was not just a lover, i was his boy, his chanel twink, his everything… he is my nothing, now.